Falling in Love Missing

The end of my marriage of six years has finally arrived with a divorce being granted 13th October has spurred me into thinking about “was it really love in a committed way”.

Now all over I can do the things I really enjoy, like listening to my choice of music turned up loud while I relax in a soothing bath filled with beautiful relaxing fragrances and singing along with Rod Stewart to all those romantic songs, like; I Took One Look At You, There Someone I Am Longing To See, Crazy In Love With You and most importantly Our Love Is Here To Stay.

It wasn’t until I heard this soothing music that I knew that the ‘falling in love’ part of our relationship was missing, sad but true. It took me twelve years in a tempestuous relationship to finally agree to get married, why I still don’t know, perhaps there was some pity attached to my decision as at the time my partner lived in his place and me in mine, however, due to him having a triple by-pass heart surgery and not coping, I suggested he live with me, wrong decision!

I know that I cared for him and wanted to be with him, but complications related to his recreational drug taking prohibited me from making a commitment for all the prior twelve years. Our relationship was an ‘on and off’ one due to his mood swings, which sometimes scared me. However being away from him made me unhappy and it was myself patching up the difficulties and going back to him, big mistake. If it isn’t a good relationship don’t go there especially with a marriage.

Shame that I didn’t take my own advice.

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