How can you retrieve lost family togetherness years that have been missing for over 40 years for my sister Caroline?
As written previously in this blog, my half-sister Caroline was taken away from the family unit by her estranged mother, when she was only 8 years of age. Admittedly this was due to our father who had entered into another relationship and subsequently wanted to marry this other woman.
The life she endured with her mother, who had a mental illness, was something that has had a psychological effect on Caroline. She lived her life mostly in less than suitable shared housing and or social housing. She wasn’t educated how a child of 8 should have been. In her thirties, Caroline took herself off to TAFE NSW to gain some literacy skills, something that she still struggles to maintain.
When I heard that Caroline was going to spend another year pretty much alone over the Christmas and New Year period, I took it upon myself to arrange that she spend as much time with my daughter and myself in Coffs Harbour. This took some rearranging and discussion with her adult children, who were fostered out when they very young due to Caroline’s inability to care for the children, as she was a victim of the most horrific domestic violent relationship, which almost ended her life and has left her with ongoing disabilities.
Caroline resides in Wollongong and she has never flown in a plane, organising the tickets, as a surprise Christmas gift from her three children was the perfect gift for her. Although a nervous thought of flying all the way to Coffs Harbour via Sydney Airport was something that deep down she wanted desperately to do, spend Christmas with her eldest sister and of course my daughter. Caroline and I have not spent a Christmas together in more than 40 years; actually, this could even be longer.
Knowing she was confirmed to arrive on 18th December 2017 we looked into the 101 things you can do in and around Coffs, which wouldn’t cost a lot, but enjoyable.
After our welcome to our home Champagne drinks and nibbles, the following day we set off to take her up to Buxner Park lookout to view the entire Coffs Harbour and its beautiful mountains and how they spread down to the sea. Then off to pick blueberries at a local farm, where we collectively picked, dropped and sampled some of the fine blueberries. Unfortunately, this day was a bit too full on for her and after the nervousness of flying up to a subtropical location such as Coffs Harbour, she ended the day feeling quite ill. Rest day followed and this then became the desired method for her following few weeks.
The ventures included Christmas lights sightings, Solitary Island Marine Centre, Clog Barn where we ate horrible tuff scones with our coffees, Nambucca Heads, Macksville and Valley of the Mist, Woolgoolga Headlands, saw two great movies, visited our local RSL Clubs, which included a lesson from my daughter on how to play pool, stroll around the local markets at the newly developed Jetty Foreshores and the best of all a family Christmas lunch and New Year’s Eve celebration with us. We mustn’t forget the lots of cuddles and big sister talks for planning a better life ahead than what she has endured over many, many years.
She also witnessed one of our famous sub-tropical electrical storms, something she won’t forget in hurry.
We also managed to fit in a pre-birthday dinner for my daughter, born on Christmas Day at a great Italian Restaurant, Silvio’s.
Caroline is now back home in Wollongong knowing that her time here with us was special and that we are only a plane or train trip away, something to plan for the future in 2018.
One resolution she desires for the future is to go overseas to New Zealand. This is something achievable with some careful planning of finances could actually happen.